Best Things On the Internet: August 2013

The internet is vast and wide and sometime I try to find the end of it. Like any voyage of discovery, the destination is secondary to the journey itself. Here are some of the highlights of my journey:*

*I'm sure some of you have seen a few of these, but who cares? Don't you want to look at them again because they're awesome?!?!

 This guy and his pet turtle. HOW ADORABLE IS THAT?!?!?! And how ingenious!

This commencement speech by George Saunders. Kindness, yes. I remember a similar little girl in my elementary school. She was dirty and underfed and kids teased her mercilessly. I never joined in, but I never helped either. I wonder about her sometimes too. So kindness.

This awesome Daft Punk Dance Party by Stephen Colbert: Because this song is awesome and Stephen Colbert gots moves. Also, HENRY KISSINGER (what?!?!).

This awesome column on the wilds of sex ed in the 60s: Oh my god. This is worth one of your 10 reads a month. I'm not sure the author is right about the validity of the information about sex that teenagers are getting these days (I mean, have you seen the internet?!?!), but still....this is hilarious.

These Peanuts comics with Morrissey lyrics: This is what tumblr was meant for. Taking two things that you never would have thought could/would/should go together and smashing them into something new and awesome! None of you Morrissey fans out there should be surprised (or Peanuts fans, I guess, either) that these are incredibly depressing. And hilarious.

This thread of comments on Gawker: You should probably read the original story about Kelly Clarkson buying up Jane Austin memorabilia. Shenanigans start in the comments when someone (one imeldasnarkos) disparages Ms. Clarkson's choice of first editions. This will really only be funny if you like Jane Austen or like making fun of people who like Jane Austen (read: women; who are we kidding?). I laughed A LOT.

This Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Hamlet book! I actually heard about this project a while ago (I love   Kate Beaton and you should too...she's one of the featured artists), but now that its broken all sorts of crowd-sourcing kickstarter records, its making headlines. The author, Ryan North, promised that the more money he raised, the sweeter the book would be. Now its got three different character paths (Hamlet, Ophelia and Hamlet's Father) and some really really amazing art from really really amazing artists. Even though I didn't contribute to the kickstarter, you can bet your sweet ass I am buying this thing when it comes out! So should you!

This heart-squeezing comic by Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: Sometimes SMBC makes jokes about math and science that I don't get. And sometimes they do something as lovely as this.

These amazing photos of the March for Freedom and Jobs: Its the 50 anniversary of the March for Freedom and Jobs, at which Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave his famous "I Have a Dream Speech." What I love about these photos is that they focus on the people at the march rather than Dr. King and the other organizers. So powerful.

These equally amazing colorized historical photos: My mom got into hand photo tinting a while back and the results were lovely. That was before digital editing was easy or accessible. These folks are doing an amazing job! I don't know what their methods are, but I hope they're color choices are well-researched and as appropriate for the time period as possible. Seriously, though, how cool!?!? If you like these, check out the whole reddit subcategory: http://www.reddit.com/r/ColorizedHistory/

These lovely yet untranslatable words from other languages: My favorite? Komorebi - the sunlight that filters between the leaves of trees.


Stay tuned for next month's installment!

What I Was Thinking As I Watched the ILHC Strictly Invitational Finals

So this weekend is a pretty big weekend for lindy hop. In Arlington, VA, the best of the best get together, along with every other lindy hopper who can get there, and dance their little hearts out at the International Lindy Hop Championship. Its clearly a big time for competitions, and one of my favorites, the one that usually has the hottest dancing is the Strictly Invitational. Dancers enter as couples (as opposed to a Jack and Jill competition, in which dancers enter as leads or follows and their partners are chosen at random), and only those couples who are invited get to dance (duh). Needless to say that only the best get invited. This is almost all unchoreographed, but most of these guys are professional who always dance with the same partner, so clearly, they know each others moves. BUT STILL. Just watch. You will be as amazed as I was.

Here are my thoughts, pretty much as I was thinking them (I only did a couple of edits so that this was legible...."fllow" is not word, nor is AMAZESOUACE, but somehow I typed both). There is some seriously amazing dancing in this video. As usual, I'm not sure who I'm looking at most of the time. But here it is!

Intro: Great song! Diga Diga Doo! Hurray!

ROUND 1.

1. Wow, what fun musicality. Who are these people? I will probably feel really bad when I find out and they're some famous people

2. Skye and Frida! Welp, babies didn't slow her down. DAMN THAT KICK! HURRAY! JUMPING! AND SKIPPING! Frida and Syke, you make me happy

3. ooh, cute dress. A little early for air, don't you think? But nicely executed. I hate it when they break partner. Who are these people too?

4. Is that Todd Yanconne? Ok, everyone is screaming and I'm not sure why. Repeating a move is not that cool

5. Wait, is THAT Todd Yannacone? What the fuck? Double vision. ok, I'm a little bored.

6. ooooooh, nice stockings. AND YAY A STOP! oooh! Nice, love the spinning thingsDAMM! LOVE THESE PEOPLE< WHO ARE THE<?!?!?!?!

AH! ADORABLE TANDEM!

7. NICE!  Cute side by sides stuff, dudes! Again, a little early for air and splits, but whatevs.

8. oh, I like the stopping. AND THE OLD SCHOOL SWIVELS! AND THE STOPPING WITH THE OLD SCHOOL SWIVELS. WHO IS THIS GUY>>!?!?!?

9. Yay Max and Annie!  So athletic! With the stopping and the jumping! Max is such a show off. AND I'm sorry, NOBODY THROWS AIR LIKE THEM. DAMN DUDES!

10. ok, who is Nick Williams dancing with now? I still don't know what the big deal is with him. I'm mean, he's ok.

11. Naomi, you are the follow of my heart. IS THAT TODD YANNACONE AGAIN!? So happy! Love the expresssions. oh, don't break connection! I hate that.

12. Jo and Mikey? hm....like the short shoulder and the little hoppy thing, but they seem like a train almost out of control....

13. oof, tough to be last. I like her spins. Nice kicks too! She reminds me of old school dancers.

ROUND 2

1. ok, I seriously love this couple,. So smooth and happy. A little boring, but still great.

2. O FRIDA YOU ARE SO AMAZSAUCE> AND SKYE

3. sppinys! FUN!....and some crazy acrobatics!

4. whoops! Missed, but still some nice swing outs

5. Todd? eh. round two, not as good.

6.AAAAAAA I LOVE THEM. They must be Euro. OH YES WALK IT OUT!!!

7. RUN! And nice drop! NOW is the time for splits!

8. Man, this guy has some serious moxy. His follow is eh

9. Yup, that is some sic shit.

10. Ok, now I sort of get it. That was a sick toss. and so musical.

11. YES! WITH THE HANDS UP!

12. Jo's hair is very cool when spinning. Ah, the pancake point. very nice

13. ok, way to end strong, dudes.

ALL SKATE:  OMG, SO COOL WHEN THEY ALL SWING OUT. CHILLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
FUCK YES. Seriously, that couple in the black KILLED it. KILLED IT. I'm going to have to watch this again.

A Reaction to Love in the Time of Cholera

Last night I finished Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And oh my god, how beautiful.

This isn't the first Gabriel Garcia Marquez book that I've read. I devoured One Hundred Years of Solitude back in college; I had a hard time figuring out what was going on at first and keeping track of all the Jose Arcadios and Aurelianos was difficult (it was good preparation for studying Roman history, in which all sons are named after their fathers in an unending line into prehistoric times....), but my god, it was gorgeous. The language, the muddying of reality, the brutality of war, of life, of the world. 

I decided to read Love in the Time of Cholera really on a whim. I saw it at Bookman's one day and bought it on impulse. I wasn't really looking for a new book to read. In fact, I was in the middle of George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire, knee deep in the behemoth fantasy series (I was halfway through A Feast for Crows, I believe). So I put Love in the Time of Cholera away until I had time to come back to it. 

I had trouble at first. The story was so meandering, filled with what seemed like trivial details. It started with an old man, Dr. Juvenal Urbino. Who was he? Why was he so important? Yes, he was a doctor, but where was the cholera? Or the love even? But once I hit the stride of the book, I fell in love. Maybe not as hopelessly as Florentino Ariza, but I was still smitten. Every other page had some beautiful poetic description of something so real, so mundane, that I wanted to start quoting it to people, to share some of the beauty of the details I was reading.

That's what I loved most. Love in the Time of Cholera described love, and especially married life, as I imagine it really is. The love described is real, as flawed and imperfect as the people feeling it. And yet, its never ugly or prosaic. Its beautiful and real at the same time. One of my pet peeves in life is people who claim that reality is always gritty, that by seeing beauty, one is really just ignoring reality. But Love in the Time of Cholera manages to do both. It acknowledges the reality of love, both disappointed love and married love, while still showing its beauty. Why is it so difficult for our tiny human brains to acknowledge the beauty of life while not denying any of its flaws?

Even the title of the book is perfect. I did wonder about the cholera part as I began. Where was it? Why in the Time of Cholera? But as I read, it became clearer. Cholera is all around; Dr. Urbino specializes in cholera, Florentino Ariza suffers from love as though its cholera, cholera epidemics are mentioned throughout the book, and cholera is finally what keeps love together in the end…and so even cholera becomes a backdrop for this particular love story, as death is the particular backdrop for all love stories, eventually.

Did I have any problems? Are there any minute pieces of criticism that I, a mere mortal, might offer to the great Gabriel Garcia Marquez? Only that I was a little unready for the ending, that I expected something more dramatic. And yet, the lives and loves that he had been describing throughout the book were undramatic. Real, yes, and beautiful, yes, but not dramatic. So really, the ending was as perfect as the rest. 

Miss Button Bumbles Away

This week, one of my best friends left Tucson. Miss Button is living in a new place and a new state and she's going to be gone for a long time. In fact, she and I may never live in the same place again.

It takes a while for these things to become real for me. I know intellectually that she's gone. I know that that outing to SkyBar with a group of her close friends and a Tucson monsoon crackling in the distance was the last such a one for a while (at least until she visits for Christmas). But it just hasn't really sunk in yet that she's gone. In fact, even as I was dropping her off after that last outing, I forgot even to give her hug. Of course she didn't need a hug. Where was she going anyway? (don't worry; she didn't forget she was leaving the next day, and reminded me. She's cool like that. I'm the asshole.)

And she isn't really going away. This friendship was not some fledgling one. Its a fine, stout, hearty friendship, based on shared experiences and shared interests: road trips and trans-Atlantic flights, dancing and singing, learning and teaching, break-ups and hook-ups (ok, not many of those), and all of the other things that make a friend one of the best. So I know we'll keep in touch. I'll make it a priority and I know she will too. I'm excited to go visit her in her new habitat and to hear about all of the amazing things she'll do. 

It took me a while to figure all of that out; that good friends don't really ever go away, even if you do your best to disappear. I have a bad habit of disappearing, and my best friends have always found a way to find me. As I get older, I realize that that's pretty much a bullshit way of being a friend and I'm getting better (I hope) about staying in touch and keeping the people who are really important to me in my life somehow.

But as the realities sink in, I know it won't be the same. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that life plunks us both down somewhere in the vicinity of each other....and in the meantime, well, frequent flyer miles are a beautiful thing.

Bon voyage, mon amie! Bonam fortunam tibi! 

Some Words I Love

As I start teaching again and thinking about language, I realize how much fun English is, with its mish-mash of vocabulary and its awesome ridiculous slang. Don't get me wrong; I loves me some Latin and Greek, but English is my mother tongue and she's got some absolutely awesome words to say.

1. Behoove: Is there any way to sound more pretentiously awesome than to use "behoove" (or behove if you're all into British English)??? I'm teaching impersonal verbs next week and I absolutely cannot wait to use this one (its impersonal in Latin and English...yes!). Though it sounds like something God did to farm animals (...and on the sixth day He made the horses and cows and behooved them), its actual meaning is perfect for teacher usage; in fact, my example sentence? "opportet te facere laborem domi" ("It behooves you to do your homework.")

2. Vermouth: I don't actually know what vermouth tastes like, be it sweet or whatever other kind there is, but whenever I say it, I want to say it again. And again. And even again. Until it feels like I have a lisp and its actually 'vermoose,' which is actually pretty fun to say too.

3. Lithe: There was an ongoing discussion at one point in my life as to how this word should be pronounced. My contention was correct; it should rhyme with blithe. When pronounced correctly, 'lithe' feels and sounds just as nice at its definition.... the long, slender 'i', the soft 'th' at the end...its just a nice word.

4. Fuck: Sorry, Mom. There's just no getting around this one. I love the mother of all cuss words. I know others have waxed poetic on its utility (you really can use it as just about any part of speech), but I really love it for the perfection of its sound. Its so perfect when you're angry and you want to say something really really reeeeeeeeeeally bad. I know maybe its not considered as taboo as it once was (overuse does that, and I'm just as guilty of overusing 'fuck' as the next person), but still, is just such a satisfying word to say.

5. Bright: Rainbow Bright. Light Bright. Bright kids. Bright ideas. Bright Lights, Big City. Star light, star bright. Its just such a happy word, but also a just a little dark. In Touch of Blue, the main character is blind and her favorite word is bright because it represents everything good in the world. That's why I love it too.

6. Whence: I always have to fight the urge to put a "from" in front of "whence." That's the beauty of it. It literally means "from where," and we're not efficient enough language users to remember that! English is a preposition-heavy language, especially in place of adverbs, but "whence," besides sounding totally awesomely archaic and educated, is a complete little adverb all on its own. Also, when you pronounce the 'h', "whence" sounds like unicorn manes blowing in the sweet breeze made by the breath of butterflies.

7. Dongle: I'm pretty sure a 15-year-old boy made this up. Or at least someone with the sense of humor of a 15-year-old boy. The vague resemblance to a slang term for male genitalia can't be coincidence. And every time I hear it, I giggle...hell, every time I say it, too. And yet, millions of people every day say "dongle" completely seriously, without any trace of amusement. Seriously, tech people, how do you do it??

8. Doing: Say it a lot. Like 20 times in a row. It sounds awesome!

9. Verboten: Technically, this isn't an English word, but English is such a mongrel language anyway, I don't think it matters if I throw in a German word popularly used in American vernacular. Somehow, "verboten" is stronger than "forbidden", as though the entire formidable strength of the German people were behind it. It also starts with that voiced "v" which is ever so much more vibrant than the silly 'f' of forbidden. Shout it sometime. You'll feel powerful.

Yup, words are awesome.

Back to School?

I'm back at school again, and while I shall refrain from mentioning the particular institution at which I work, I will say, its back to prayers and uniforms and lots and lots of iphones.

I hadn't really expected to be back here this year. I had made the difficult decision that I wasn't really cut out for teaching high school and was going to pursue something else. I wasn't sure what; there was an ocean of time ahead of me in May, in which I could contemplate for what and where life had fitted me. I was nervously looking forward to it too. I had ideas (GIS, programming, other techy things), but no hard plans. I just knew that teaching wasn't it.

The kids were disappointed, for the most part (I'm sure there were a couple who were glad to hear I wouldn't be back), but understood...or at least understood as well as any teenager can why I didn't want to do something I didn't love every single day. Actually, they probably understood that better than a lot of people, having been shoved into a desk for hours every day and told to listen. And they knew it wasn't really about them, surprisingly enough. Teenagers, I have learned, know when you're heart's not in it. They have a keen sense of genuine-ness (for lack of a better word). My kids knew that I'd much rather just chat about what was going on in the world and what they thought about it than buckle down and be some grammarian task master. They preferred that too (of course they did!).

We kept the kids involved in the selection process for my replacement. There were a couple of applicants. There was even a demo lesson. But nobody seemed right. My colleague and friend begged me to stay...just one more year, Lauren. One more year. Nope, not one more year, if it meant part-time at something I didn't really reeeeeeeally want to do.

But then, the second to last week of school, the Human Resources manager emailed me. Would I be willing to supervise two Quiet Study periods? The pay wasn't very good, she said, but it kept me on campus the requisite 5 class periods that would make me eligible for benefits. After teaching at the local community college, the pay didn't surprise me; it was low. But all that was being asked of me for those two extra periods was to supervise kids as they did their homework. Just keep an eye on them in study hall. And for that, I would suddenly become eligible for amazing health and retirement benefits.

So here I am again. The first week of school is now over and my feelings are mixed. I'm happy to be around the kids again; they keep you young with their exuberance and excitement. Its easier than years past in certain ways, too: my lessons are already made. I have two free periods to plan and prepare for the next day's classes. I know more of the kids.

But its difficult to go back on a decision. To get back into the something I didn't think I'd be doing. To find the energy to be excited about teaching again. To fake it. Some of the kids will know that I'm faking it too, and that makes it just a little harder.

The silver lining? I can stop worrying about doctor's visits and car accidents. I can save up some money for the all those ideas I have. And in the grand scheme of things, one more year isn't so long.

Is it May yet?

Books I Read Too Young

There are some books that you really have to read at the right time in life. Take Catcher in the Rye. When I read it at 17, it was genius. I got it. I got Holden. It was good...not as good as The Bell Jar, but good. I tried to read it as a twenty-something and rather than being some sort of tragic hero in search of beauty in a fucked up world, Holden Caulfield was just a whiney-ass teenager who couldn't get his shit together. It just doesn't feel like the same book if you're not going through that particular phase of your life.

Like so many other teenagers, I was assigned to read Catcher in the Rye in high school. It was the perfect time to read that book, but I was assigned quite a few monumental works as well. I despised some of them (Last of the Mohicans, I'm looking at you), but as I get older, I wonder if the opposite is true of some them.  Maybe I was just too young to appreciate what they had to offer. Maybe I needed the depth of experience that only age can bring to really get them, and as I teenager, I certainly didn't have the wherewithal to do so. Because of that, some of them didn't quite make a definite impression. My memories of plots and themes are fuzzy. Despite that, though, here are a few I think I should come back to:

1. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.  I remember not quite getting this book. I got some of it; I remember being struck with the idea that race could be so powerful as to render someone invisible to all attention but negative attention. I remember being told that this was an important book. I remember my classmates being as bewildered as I was reading it. But since I left high school, Invisible Man has made appearances throughout my cultural consciousness, at parties, late night book discussions, articles on race, randomly. Recently I heard it described as one of the most powerful books ever written. It may be time to revisit it and see what I can make of it now.

2. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce.  This was another high school reading assignment and one that was as bewildering as Invisible Man on many levels. The moo-cow chapter made a particularly strong impression on my naive teenage brain. "What the hell is this?!!" I thought, as I read. By the end of the novel, I had sort of figured it out (emphasis on the sort of). Now that I understand a little more about James Joyce and stream of consciousness, I wonder if it would be a more interesting read.

3. The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. I decided when I was 11 that I was going to read Classical Literature and I was going to understand it and everyone would be very impressed. I had managed to make my way through Pride and Prejudice and totally understood everything, so I figured I would try some other Great19th Century Literature. Why I chose The Hunchback of Notre Dame, I have no idea (though some awful Disney film may have had something to do with it), but I did. I still, to this day, have no idea what the greater theme of that book was. Maybe something about power and corruption? Physical strength and political strength and poverty and redemption? My guesses now are as feeble as my understanding was then. I may not re-read this one, as my attempts at Les Miserables in my early twenties were similarly befuddled (Victor Hugo is probably difficult at any age...right?), but if I do, I know I'll do better than I did at 11.

4. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I still don't really know what's going on in this book. The first time around was in high school (of course) and the narrative structure was confusing (who was narrating? What?) and the language was confusing (what sort of crazy 19th century boat slang is this??) and the plot was confusing (WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!). I got the larger message about wilderness stripping away the veneer of civilization, but the specifics were lost on me. Many years later, a co-worker praised Heart of Darkness to the skies (along with Conrad's other works), so I tried again. Nope, still confusing. I will wait a few more years and try again, but this one may just always be beyond me. The horror! The horror!

5.  The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. Those of you who know me well will wonder what the hell its doing on this list, but it belongs here, no doubt. The first time I attempted the defining work of modern fantasy was in high school (though I picked it up myself, rather than have it assigned) and I thought it was slow, boring, and confusing. Why couldn't Tolkien just stick to one name? How was I supposed to keep all the characters straight? And the history behind the plot? Forget about it. Unlike the others on this list, I came back to LOTR later in college and fell in love. It was so engrossing this time around! What had been confusion before was intriguing now! The language! The mythology! The depth of creation! The appendices were a wealth and font of knowledge that had been hitherto unknown! So fascinating!

And maybe, if I gave these others a second chance, now that I'm older and (hopefully) a little wiser, I'll have that same experience.

A Friendly Farewell

A friend is leaving tomorrow. Not a close friend and not someone I've known long. In fact, its only been a month since I met the guy. But he's one of those people that just fit into one of my worlds seamlessly.

My Hut World has been filled with so many people. Its a crossroads for many of us: a place to stop and gather one's breath before heading out into the wider world of one's ambitions. For some of us, me included, its been a sanctuary as well, somewhere we can always come back to when times are hard and that wider world has been cruel. There are a few permanent fixtures (myself included here too) as well, the defining personnel, without whom the Hut would be fundamentally changed.

This friend is one of the first category. He showed up a month ago, fresh from a long road trip around the country, and not really sure of where the world was taking him. Despite that, he felt comfortable immediately.  He was good at the retail grind; he did his job well; he learned quickly. But besides that, he had rapport with almost all of us. There were parties and nights out and lots of interesting discussions about Hume and blues and Point Break. It was a good fit.

But he wasn't a close friend at least comparatively speaking. There just wasn't time. I wish there had been, though. Because even if he wasn't, there are certain people you meet who don't need a lot of time, who you immediately think when you meet "We are going to get along swimmingly!"

In the age that we live in, I'm sure we'll keep in touch. Facebook and Twitter and email and cell phones all mean we can communicate pretty easily. But the personal bonds we make are still the most important, and it doesn't matter how much potential friendship one feels with someone else, it takes time to form those personal bonds. So today I'm sad a little. Not because I'm losing a close friend. I'm not. I'm losing the potential for a great friend, a fledgling relationship that is something much more fragile, something so much more susceptible to the demands of distance and time.

I wish him well, of course, and will try to keep in touch as best I can.