Thursday, November 21, 2013

Why I Don't Compete in Lindy Hop Competitions

I love dancing socially and my particular scene, the lindy hop scene, is particularly awesome. I love the music and the movement and the people too. But there's one part of the scene that seems to be gaining importance: competition.

I get why it has become a thing. Competitions validate dancers and motivate them to get better. They can raise the general level of dancing in a scene. Watching amazing dances by amazing dancers can be an inspiring thing. And the prizes are often sa-weeeeeet.

But as the community gets bigger (and I have no doubt that its much bigger now than it was when I first started), more visible, and more connected through youtube and yehoodi, there seems to be a larger emphasis on being seen, rather than enjoying connection.

This whole more people = a greater awareness of appearance has been a theory of mine for a while. I'm probably not the first person to think this (in fact, if anyone knows any cool social theory books on this stuff, I'd love to read it), but I feel like the denser the population, the more invisible individuals become, and the more they try to stand out. This is functional, I think. If you see 200 different people a day, you don't have time to get to know each of them, so you make snap judgments based on their appearance. In a cycle of reinforcement, the more people judge on appearance, the more fastidious people get about their appearance, until appearance is the social cache that can obfuscate other (sometimes more compelling) aspects of people.

These snap judgments can be made anywhere, but in the lindy hop world, it seems like competitions are becoming the authoritative venue for being seen.  In order to "be someone" in the lindy world, you have to compete, to be seen, to win, even though I think there are lots of great dancers out there who don't compete. If you want to be a professional, you teach and you don't get students unless you win. And I don't really like it. There. I said it. I don't like competitions.

There are a couple of different reasons for this. Personally, I don't compete because I don't much like the idea of my dancing being judged on my ability to perform. I don't want to worry about people watching me and I just want to enjoy the connection with my partner and the music. Of course, I know even as I type that that its not completely true. On a certain level, I want people to watch me; the conceit of dressing up in vintage (though I rarely do) and acting out the past means that there's an element to performance to every dance...and what's a performance without an audience? But the idea of folks watching specifically for the purpose of judging me is off-putting. And a good dance with an amazing connection to amazing music can happen just as easily in a living room (especially if you're lucky enough to live with fellow lindy hoppers, like I did for a while) as it can on a competition dance floor. The fact that nobody is there to "judge" an amazing dance doesn't make it any less amazing for the two people doing it. And with the emphasis on being seen, especially in a competative context, maybe that personal part of dancing is getting a little forgotten.

And really, at a certain level, the results are pretty much subjective anyway. It really depends on who's judging. Maybe you've got a real technique hound who is constantly watching for clean swing-outs. Maybe you've got a judge who really looks for musicality and playfulness. Maybe one looks for lines and shapes. There's really no telling what you're going to get. Add to that that maybe the song isn't great for you, or you've never heard it, or (if it's a live band), you get the shitty drum solo, and well, shit. There's a lot out of your control and the results don't necessarily reflect what kind of dancer you are.

And honestly, some of my best "technical" dancing hasn't been very fun. I've had several dances in which the swing outs feel great and the lead leads me through turns and texas tommies like we've been pre-programmed with each other's moves. But the funnest dances are with folks who like to play and who try new things. If it works, great! We have a great "whoa!" moment together...but if it doesn't, well, we end up laughing and shorty georging back to each other. And that's great too. If you're constantly worried about messing up in front of the judges, can you really get into the spirit of innovation?

I know there are some folks, probably a lot of them, actually, who disagree with me. And that's fine. I watch competitions with good humor. When something spectacular happens, its amazing. But for me, dance nirvana will always be a good connection with my partner, playing around with movement to music, and not worrying one bit what someone else thinks about it.



Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Self-love

Before you think that this is some sort of She-bop deal, let me explain. October was a hard month. I made a really tough decision about my life and since then, I've been reeling a little bit. Everything right now seems uncertain: my job, my house, my future. I've basically spent the last couple of weeks feeling shitty about myself because my life feels like a mess. And I didn't really think it would be at this point.

But last night, after spending the entire day in my pajamas, eating leftover Halloween candy, and foregoing my usual personal hygiene routine, I sort of snapped out of it. I remembered that there are things that I really like about myself, things that (if I'm not mistaken) my friends like about me too. Things that I haven't really necessarily felt good about in a while. So allow me to go all Whitney-Houston-Greatest-Love-of-All for a moment and name a few of them.

1. I'm still curious. About everything. Why Chris Christie won the gubernatorial election in Jersey. How amazing the Catching Fire trailor is. The state of the Philippines. The state of particle physics. Medical breakthroughs in organ cleaning (seriously, have you seen that shit?). There's a big wide world out there and I like finding out about it.

2. How much I love books. I spent pretty much the entire weekend reading. Maybe this is some childish coping mechanism so that I don't have to deal with my own emotions (fair, probably, at this point). But even when I'm not in some sort of emotional upheaval, books are the escape. They're the word-pictures that take me out of this (amazing) world into limitless others. I love that. I love being a book person. I love meeting other book people.

3. How I can make people laugh. My friend Emily has the biggest laugh in the world. Hearing it reminds me that there's happiness in this world, and sometimes I'm the cause of it. When my friend Andy laughs instead of quipping back at me, I know I've said something clever enough that even he, my cleverest of friends, just enjoys it. I love it when Holly and I get to giggling so much at school that the students just look at us in wonder while we cry and sputter and point at each other. How I can surprise a guffaw out of Dad with a sharp rejoinder that's maybe just a little bit crude, just like the two of us.

4. I still like explaining stuff to people. Its maybe my favorite part of my job as a teacher. I don't really like explaining grammar in Latin or in English, but I love explaining a philosophical idea to my kids, or explaining the history behind a current event, or even just talking about celebrity gossip with them. And not just with kids. I love being the person with the answers, the knowledge and the wherewithal to solve problems.

5. I love intelligent discussion. Not debate, not winning an argument, but meaningful exchanges of ideas. This is one of the things I miss most about graduate school. Its why I still follow professor's facebook posts and why I get so frustrated with my students, whose teenage mentality, so focused on projecting their right to opinions, doesn't let them listen to nuances, to question assumptions, to tread lightly into a maze of complicated issues.

6. The sound of my voice when I'm singing just for myself. Its probably really annoying to anyone else. All I do is sit around and sustain long single notes in as pure a tone as I can muster. But in my head, there are at least 4 other voices singing with me. I wish you could hear them as clearly as I can.

7. My feet are just like my grandma's: small, with high arches and toenails that grow up rather than out (much to our mutual dismay). Mine have a bit of the hobbit to them as well, but when groomed, I love my feet. I don't take very good care of them, but they seem to be just fine. No huge bio-mechanical problems, no bunions. Just strong little feet that I can dance on for hours. I'm sure that won't last forever, but for now, they're just perfect.

I feel a lot better, seeing all of this out in writing. I hope that if someday you find yourself in a similar upheaval, you write a list of all the things you like about yourself. It helps!

Friday, November 01, 2013

Best Things on the Internet: October 2013

The internet was just not that awesome this month. Here's the best of the bunch, though!

Improv Everywhere's stint with orchestra conducting: OMG I would have had the most fun ever with this.

Duct tape surfing: A paraplegic woman wanted to surf. So she and her sons figured out a way to do it. It involves duct tape.

These crazy pictures of crazy awesome goats on cliffs: Most of these are like a 12d, I'm pretty sure. They all give me the willies. IN AN AWESOME WAY.

These photos of families across the world with their groceries: offered without comment.

This Buzzfeed list of awesome baby costumes: With the exception of the Trojan at the end, these are all awesome and hilarious. My favorite is a tie between Prince and the Dude.

These composers insulting one another: What is more pretentiously awesome than classical composer insults?!?! While I don't agree with all of these (I personally like Ralph Vaughn Williams' 5th symphony), the one about Handel is SPOT ON.

This cool interview with a NYC archaeologist: coooooooooooool.