8 Ways My Cat Makes Me Happy

1. The look Jack gives me when he knows I'm not giving petting him my entire attention. It says "I know you can do better. You know you can do better. Put down the laptop and give me my due."

2. Jack's obsession with the mysterious region known as under the sheets. Seriously, there must be something there that my feeble human senses can't get at, because, man, he loves it. CAT FORT!

3. The way he stretches out his back legs straight out behind him and his front legs straight out in front of him, like he's flying on the floor.

4. How happy he is when I finally sit down for the evening and he snuggles up either next to my hip or next to my feet.

5. The special meow that means "my food is stale. please either add fresh to it or stir it around so it appears fresh."

6. How much he loves it when I pick him up wearing my bathrobe. He purrs and kneads and carries on and generally has a great time.

7. How he turns on the extra cute if I momentarily stop petting him. Examples of extra cute: grabbing one's face with one's paws, flipping onto one's back to expose one's belly, pushing head under convenient surfaces (i.e. pillows, sheets, owner's hands), or any combination thereof.

8. The special meow that means "i know i have a cat door, but i would prefer if you would open the human sized door for my human sized ego."

Best Things on the Internet: September 2013

This hilarious review of Patrick Rothfuss's book, A Wise Man's Fear: BEST REVIEW EVER. If you haven't read the first two books in Patrick Rothfuss's Kingkiller Chronicles, well, do that. Then read this. It is absolutely spot on.

This amazingly awesome MarioPaintComposer version of "Get Lucky": I didn't know people even stil had Mario Paint Composer! HOLY SHIT! SO COOL! I love this song. I love Mario. If you put them together, well, that's even better.

This Dutch reality show about farmers looking for love: caveat: I haven't watched the show. But I find the entire idea absolutely charming! Especially after watching an episode of the Bachelorette. How refreshing to hear about a reality show that is actually.....real! That last bit about the teachers, though, that's low, Jezebel.

Janelle Monae's New Album The Electric Lady: This thing is awesomely all over the place. For someone like me, who likes pretty much everything from classic jazz to electronica to rock, this album is a roller coaster of fun different styles. It doesn't really have a cohesive sound, but there's a futuristic sci-fi feel to everything. Dance Apocalypse sounds like something from the 80s, Look Into My Eyes reminds me of anime flicks like Neon Genesis Evangelion or even Blade Runner. At any rate, its amazing and if you've got an hour, you should listen to it. And then buy it.

This adorable video of Maru playing with a kitten: If you don't know who Maru is, well, you should. He's probably the most famous cat on the internet...or at least in Japan. If you're unfamiliar, I suggest you start here or here....or even here. Once you're familiar with Maru and his shennanigans, well, watch those other videos anyway. Then watch this one. The only thing cuter than Maru? Maru and a kitten.

These adorable cats in hats: They're cats. In hats. Tiny adorable construction paper hats. SO CUTE.

This heart-rending obituary Sarah Silverman wrote for her dog, Duck: Sarah, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm crying for you and with you and I know Duck lived a long happy life full of love. But it doesn't make it easier to say good-bye.

This video of Max and Thomas recreating their most famous lindy routine: Remember this? If not, well, that's ok. You had to be a lindy hopper around 2003 to have seen it. It was a strange time too. Follows wore jeans and dresses, leads wore huge cargo pants, you either danced "savoy" or "California" style, and dressing vintage? What losers did that? But the lindy scene has gotten back to its roots in music and style through the miracle of the internet. Thomas and Max have become (were already, I guess) two of the most recognizable dancers in the lindy hop world. For two other great dancers' wedding (Congrats, Dax and Sarah!), they recreated that routine. I like this one even better!

This recreation of the Vesuvius eruption that destroyed Pompeii: cooooooooooooooool.

These gorgeous whimsical lovely paintings: These remind me of some of my favorite things from my childhood.  The Last Unicorn, Maxfield Parrish prints, the Wind in the Willows, foxes, cats, dragons, Russian laquer boxes and everything else I think is beautiful.

This Sunday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic: Teaching high school really makes you appreciate this one. Like, whoa.

This article on why deli meat has rainbows: I've always wondered about this!!!

How I Imagine Lizards Feel When Rosie Catches Them.

Today is a good day.  Today the sun hits my back just so and my pushups are strong.  Others stay away from my territory which is full of ants.  I scurry towards a lemon tree. Stop.  Quickly, again, to the palm tree. But its skin is too slippery for my long claws and I scurry again to the deep shade of the hedge. It is cool here, but the heat from the sun stays on my back. I am happy.

I stay still only for a moment, then am off again, rustling in the underbrush of the hedge and back into the hot sun. I step onto the flat rocky stuff that holds so much heat, it is even too much for my claws, and begin to run. There is a wall that leads to an anthill and I am hungry.

I begin to scale the wall. I feel a shadow above me where there should be none. A huge claw grazes my belly and I am filled with fear.  I scurry up the wall as fast as I can, but the shadow returns. I am knocked off of the wall, into the dirt below.  I do not know where I am, but I must get away.  Shade means protection. I must get to shade.

I turn in the blink of an eye and attempt once more to run, but suddenly something hot and wet surrounds me.  I feel sharp teeth near my gut. My tail detaches and falls to the ground.

Out of the hot wet place I am trapped comes a noise. It is a piercing "meow". I have heard this sound before and I know it means danger. I go completely limp, knowing that this particular predator only wants me to wriggle.  The piercing cries continue as I am carried in its mouth. The light changes suddenly from warm sunshine to diffused light. It is darker. I cannot see because the change is so fast.

I am released onto a smooth cool surface. It feels like the palm tree, only cooler and smoother. I try to run, but my claws do nothing. My movement causes a heavy paw to pick at me. I freeze again.  Under my belly I feel vibrations in the floor. Something huge is coming and I cannot move. 

The piercing cries stop when a voice far above me says "Rosie! Not again! Shit, is it still alive?" I try to breathe slowly, but my fear makes it difficult.  Strange large claws without sharpness try to trap me, but I am too fast. "Shit." the voice comes again from above. "C'mere. ROSIE, NO!" I feel the shadow above me again, but something holds it back and the claws I expect to feel never come.  I scurry to the darkest corner I can find. I am trapped there. There is no escaping the strange, dull claws that reach for me again and again. At last I am caught. I feel myself lifted high into the air and once again go limp.

The light abruptly changes back to bright sunshine. I feel myself being lowered to a rock. The heat from it warms me, but I dare not move.  I hear above me "its ok, little guy, she's not going to hurt you...but she might catch you again if you stay here." I realize the danger is leaving. I am not hurt. My tail is gone. My heart is racing. But I am not hurt. I remain still for a moment more. Then I run as fast as I can toward the safety of shade I see ahead.