Best Things on the Internet: September 2013

This hilarious review of Patrick Rothfuss's book, A Wise Man's Fear: BEST REVIEW EVER. If you haven't read the first two books in Patrick Rothfuss's Kingkiller Chronicles, well, do that. Then read this. It is absolutely spot on.

This amazingly awesome MarioPaintComposer version of "Get Lucky": I didn't know people even stil had Mario Paint Composer! HOLY SHIT! SO COOL! I love this song. I love Mario. If you put them together, well, that's even better.

This Dutch reality show about farmers looking for love: caveat: I haven't watched the show. But I find the entire idea absolutely charming! Especially after watching an episode of the Bachelorette. How refreshing to hear about a reality show that is actually.....real! That last bit about the teachers, though, that's low, Jezebel.

Janelle Monae's New Album The Electric Lady: This thing is awesomely all over the place. For someone like me, who likes pretty much everything from classic jazz to electronica to rock, this album is a roller coaster of fun different styles. It doesn't really have a cohesive sound, but there's a futuristic sci-fi feel to everything. Dance Apocalypse sounds like something from the 80s, Look Into My Eyes reminds me of anime flicks like Neon Genesis Evangelion or even Blade Runner. At any rate, its amazing and if you've got an hour, you should listen to it. And then buy it.

This adorable video of Maru playing with a kitten: If you don't know who Maru is, well, you should. He's probably the most famous cat on the internet...or at least in Japan. If you're unfamiliar, I suggest you start here or here....or even here. Once you're familiar with Maru and his shennanigans, well, watch those other videos anyway. Then watch this one. The only thing cuter than Maru? Maru and a kitten.

These adorable cats in hats: They're cats. In hats. Tiny adorable construction paper hats. SO CUTE.

This heart-rending obituary Sarah Silverman wrote for her dog, Duck: Sarah, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm crying for you and with you and I know Duck lived a long happy life full of love. But it doesn't make it easier to say good-bye.

This video of Max and Thomas recreating their most famous lindy routine: Remember this? If not, well, that's ok. You had to be a lindy hopper around 2003 to have seen it. It was a strange time too. Follows wore jeans and dresses, leads wore huge cargo pants, you either danced "savoy" or "California" style, and dressing vintage? What losers did that? But the lindy scene has gotten back to its roots in music and style through the miracle of the internet. Thomas and Max have become (were already, I guess) two of the most recognizable dancers in the lindy hop world. For two other great dancers' wedding (Congrats, Dax and Sarah!), they recreated that routine. I like this one even better!

This recreation of the Vesuvius eruption that destroyed Pompeii: cooooooooooooooool.

These gorgeous whimsical lovely paintings: These remind me of some of my favorite things from my childhood.  The Last Unicorn, Maxfield Parrish prints, the Wind in the Willows, foxes, cats, dragons, Russian laquer boxes and everything else I think is beautiful.

This Sunday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic: Teaching high school really makes you appreciate this one. Like, whoa.

This article on why deli meat has rainbows: I've always wondered about this!!!

Best Things On the Internet: August 2013

The internet is vast and wide and sometime I try to find the end of it. Like any voyage of discovery, the destination is secondary to the journey itself. Here are some of the highlights of my journey:*

*I'm sure some of you have seen a few of these, but who cares? Don't you want to look at them again because they're awesome?!?!

 This guy and his pet turtle. HOW ADORABLE IS THAT?!?!?! And how ingenious!

This commencement speech by George Saunders. Kindness, yes. I remember a similar little girl in my elementary school. She was dirty and underfed and kids teased her mercilessly. I never joined in, but I never helped either. I wonder about her sometimes too. So kindness.

This awesome Daft Punk Dance Party by Stephen Colbert: Because this song is awesome and Stephen Colbert gots moves. Also, HENRY KISSINGER (what?!?!).

This awesome column on the wilds of sex ed in the 60s: Oh my god. This is worth one of your 10 reads a month. I'm not sure the author is right about the validity of the information about sex that teenagers are getting these days (I mean, have you seen the internet?!?!), but still....this is hilarious.

These Peanuts comics with Morrissey lyrics: This is what tumblr was meant for. Taking two things that you never would have thought could/would/should go together and smashing them into something new and awesome! None of you Morrissey fans out there should be surprised (or Peanuts fans, I guess, either) that these are incredibly depressing. And hilarious.

This thread of comments on Gawker: You should probably read the original story about Kelly Clarkson buying up Jane Austin memorabilia. Shenanigans start in the comments when someone (one imeldasnarkos) disparages Ms. Clarkson's choice of first editions. This will really only be funny if you like Jane Austen or like making fun of people who like Jane Austen (read: women; who are we kidding?). I laughed A LOT.

This Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Hamlet book! I actually heard about this project a while ago (I love   Kate Beaton and you should too...she's one of the featured artists), but now that its broken all sorts of crowd-sourcing kickstarter records, its making headlines. The author, Ryan North, promised that the more money he raised, the sweeter the book would be. Now its got three different character paths (Hamlet, Ophelia and Hamlet's Father) and some really really amazing art from really really amazing artists. Even though I didn't contribute to the kickstarter, you can bet your sweet ass I am buying this thing when it comes out! So should you!

This heart-squeezing comic by Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: Sometimes SMBC makes jokes about math and science that I don't get. And sometimes they do something as lovely as this.

These amazing photos of the March for Freedom and Jobs: Its the 50 anniversary of the March for Freedom and Jobs, at which Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave his famous "I Have a Dream Speech." What I love about these photos is that they focus on the people at the march rather than Dr. King and the other organizers. So powerful.

These equally amazing colorized historical photos: My mom got into hand photo tinting a while back and the results were lovely. That was before digital editing was easy or accessible. These folks are doing an amazing job! I don't know what their methods are, but I hope they're color choices are well-researched and as appropriate for the time period as possible. Seriously, though, how cool!?!? If you like these, check out the whole reddit subcategory: http://www.reddit.com/r/ColorizedHistory/

These lovely yet untranslatable words from other languages: My favorite? Komorebi - the sunlight that filters between the leaves of trees.


Stay tuned for next month's installment!

Some Words I Love

As I start teaching again and thinking about language, I realize how much fun English is, with its mish-mash of vocabulary and its awesome ridiculous slang. Don't get me wrong; I loves me some Latin and Greek, but English is my mother tongue and she's got some absolutely awesome words to say.

1. Behoove: Is there any way to sound more pretentiously awesome than to use "behoove" (or behove if you're all into British English)??? I'm teaching impersonal verbs next week and I absolutely cannot wait to use this one (its impersonal in Latin and English...yes!). Though it sounds like something God did to farm animals (...and on the sixth day He made the horses and cows and behooved them), its actual meaning is perfect for teacher usage; in fact, my example sentence? "opportet te facere laborem domi" ("It behooves you to do your homework.")

2. Vermouth: I don't actually know what vermouth tastes like, be it sweet or whatever other kind there is, but whenever I say it, I want to say it again. And again. And even again. Until it feels like I have a lisp and its actually 'vermoose,' which is actually pretty fun to say too.

3. Lithe: There was an ongoing discussion at one point in my life as to how this word should be pronounced. My contention was correct; it should rhyme with blithe. When pronounced correctly, 'lithe' feels and sounds just as nice at its definition.... the long, slender 'i', the soft 'th' at the end...its just a nice word.

4. Fuck: Sorry, Mom. There's just no getting around this one. I love the mother of all cuss words. I know others have waxed poetic on its utility (you really can use it as just about any part of speech), but I really love it for the perfection of its sound. Its so perfect when you're angry and you want to say something really really reeeeeeeeeeally bad. I know maybe its not considered as taboo as it once was (overuse does that, and I'm just as guilty of overusing 'fuck' as the next person), but still, is just such a satisfying word to say.

5. Bright: Rainbow Bright. Light Bright. Bright kids. Bright ideas. Bright Lights, Big City. Star light, star bright. Its just such a happy word, but also a just a little dark. In Touch of Blue, the main character is blind and her favorite word is bright because it represents everything good in the world. That's why I love it too.

6. Whence: I always have to fight the urge to put a "from" in front of "whence." That's the beauty of it. It literally means "from where," and we're not efficient enough language users to remember that! English is a preposition-heavy language, especially in place of adverbs, but "whence," besides sounding totally awesomely archaic and educated, is a complete little adverb all on its own. Also, when you pronounce the 'h', "whence" sounds like unicorn manes blowing in the sweet breeze made by the breath of butterflies.

7. Dongle: I'm pretty sure a 15-year-old boy made this up. Or at least someone with the sense of humor of a 15-year-old boy. The vague resemblance to a slang term for male genitalia can't be coincidence. And every time I hear it, I giggle...hell, every time I say it, too. And yet, millions of people every day say "dongle" completely seriously, without any trace of amusement. Seriously, tech people, how do you do it??

8. Doing: Say it a lot. Like 20 times in a row. It sounds awesome!

9. Verboten: Technically, this isn't an English word, but English is such a mongrel language anyway, I don't think it matters if I throw in a German word popularly used in American vernacular. Somehow, "verboten" is stronger than "forbidden", as though the entire formidable strength of the German people were behind it. It also starts with that voiced "v" which is ever so much more vibrant than the silly 'f' of forbidden. Shout it sometime. You'll feel powerful.

Yup, words are awesome.

Books I Read Too Young

There are some books that you really have to read at the right time in life. Take Catcher in the Rye. When I read it at 17, it was genius. I got it. I got Holden. It was good...not as good as The Bell Jar, but good. I tried to read it as a twenty-something and rather than being some sort of tragic hero in search of beauty in a fucked up world, Holden Caulfield was just a whiney-ass teenager who couldn't get his shit together. It just doesn't feel like the same book if you're not going through that particular phase of your life.

Like so many other teenagers, I was assigned to read Catcher in the Rye in high school. It was the perfect time to read that book, but I was assigned quite a few monumental works as well. I despised some of them (Last of the Mohicans, I'm looking at you), but as I get older, I wonder if the opposite is true of some them.  Maybe I was just too young to appreciate what they had to offer. Maybe I needed the depth of experience that only age can bring to really get them, and as I teenager, I certainly didn't have the wherewithal to do so. Because of that, some of them didn't quite make a definite impression. My memories of plots and themes are fuzzy. Despite that, though, here are a few I think I should come back to:

1. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.  I remember not quite getting this book. I got some of it; I remember being struck with the idea that race could be so powerful as to render someone invisible to all attention but negative attention. I remember being told that this was an important book. I remember my classmates being as bewildered as I was reading it. But since I left high school, Invisible Man has made appearances throughout my cultural consciousness, at parties, late night book discussions, articles on race, randomly. Recently I heard it described as one of the most powerful books ever written. It may be time to revisit it and see what I can make of it now.

2. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce.  This was another high school reading assignment and one that was as bewildering as Invisible Man on many levels. The moo-cow chapter made a particularly strong impression on my naive teenage brain. "What the hell is this?!!" I thought, as I read. By the end of the novel, I had sort of figured it out (emphasis on the sort of). Now that I understand a little more about James Joyce and stream of consciousness, I wonder if it would be a more interesting read.

3. The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. I decided when I was 11 that I was going to read Classical Literature and I was going to understand it and everyone would be very impressed. I had managed to make my way through Pride and Prejudice and totally understood everything, so I figured I would try some other Great19th Century Literature. Why I chose The Hunchback of Notre Dame, I have no idea (though some awful Disney film may have had something to do with it), but I did. I still, to this day, have no idea what the greater theme of that book was. Maybe something about power and corruption? Physical strength and political strength and poverty and redemption? My guesses now are as feeble as my understanding was then. I may not re-read this one, as my attempts at Les Miserables in my early twenties were similarly befuddled (Victor Hugo is probably difficult at any age...right?), but if I do, I know I'll do better than I did at 11.

4. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I still don't really know what's going on in this book. The first time around was in high school (of course) and the narrative structure was confusing (who was narrating? What?) and the language was confusing (what sort of crazy 19th century boat slang is this??) and the plot was confusing (WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!). I got the larger message about wilderness stripping away the veneer of civilization, but the specifics were lost on me. Many years later, a co-worker praised Heart of Darkness to the skies (along with Conrad's other works), so I tried again. Nope, still confusing. I will wait a few more years and try again, but this one may just always be beyond me. The horror! The horror!

5.  The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. Those of you who know me well will wonder what the hell its doing on this list, but it belongs here, no doubt. The first time I attempted the defining work of modern fantasy was in high school (though I picked it up myself, rather than have it assigned) and I thought it was slow, boring, and confusing. Why couldn't Tolkien just stick to one name? How was I supposed to keep all the characters straight? And the history behind the plot? Forget about it. Unlike the others on this list, I came back to LOTR later in college and fell in love. It was so engrossing this time around! What had been confusion before was intriguing now! The language! The mythology! The depth of creation! The appendices were a wealth and font of knowledge that had been hitherto unknown! So fascinating!

And maybe, if I gave these others a second chance, now that I'm older and (hopefully) a little wiser, I'll have that same experience.

Awesome Travel Stuff

For the last few years, I've been lucky enough to travel to Italy and Greece for archaeological field seasons.  Its been amazing. My first summer abroad, I spent five weeks digging outside of Orvieto, Italy, digging up the Etruscan remains of a road by day, and singing songs with my Italian colleagues at night after dinner. The next three summers, I spent in Arkadia, Greece, mostly in the city of Tripolis, but also in the lovely mountain town of Ano Karyes, which is nestled on the shoulders of Mt. Lykaion, an ancient shrine to Zeus.

Preparing for spending weeks abroad can be daunting. You have to choose your wardrobe carefully, since you'll be limited to what you bring for six long weeks. Stuff gets old after a while. And, if you're like me, you don't want to worry about airlines losing your luggage, so a carry-on is the best idea. That means cramming six weeks' worth of stuff into one (at most) 22" inch suitcase. It can be difficult to select what's worth taking and what isn't, but somehow for the last few years I've managed it, even managing to save room for gifts for folks back home (I somehow got three jars of raw Greek honey packed into my carry-on and they made it home, fully intact!).

This year has been a little different. I am not in Europe this year, sorting potsherds and inventorying ancient roof tiles. This year, my travels took me to Asia for the first time. And I wasn't going to Asia for an archaeological field season. I was traveling for pleasure (imagine that!). My boyfriend's brother was getting married in Bali, so of course we had to go. We also planned a couple of nights in Hong Kong on our way back. Packing for a little over a week was much more straightforward than packing for six, but my choices were no less fraught. What was the weather going to be like? What should I pack for the wedding? What shoes should I bring?? The same has been true for my forthcoming trip to Grand Junction, Colorado to visit my sister. Do I need a jacket? Waterproof or not? Hiking shoes or sandals? Suitcase to backback? Oh the choices!

I'm finding, however, that there were certain travel objects that I have never and would never travel on a plane without, that the destination and purpose of my trip was irrelevant; as long as I have these items, I will be fine. What items, you might ask? These:*

1. My travel wallet - This little Eagle Creek travel wallet is awesome. It holds my passport in a zippered pocket and has various other pockets for organizing other essentials, like cash, ID, and cell phone (if you're traveling with one). It doesn't look like a security neck pouch, which I really like. There's nothing that screams "TOURIST! ROB ME!" like reaching under your shirt for your cash. Instead, its purple and looks like a little wallet purse. If I'm in a crowded subway or train station, I hold onto it (literally, I hold it right next to me as tightly as I can), but for most of the time I travel, its just hanging on my shoulder. The fact that it can function as a wallet or a purse makes it invaluable.

2. My security belt - From Eagle Creek again, this security belt is ACTUALLY A BELT! It has a tiny security pouch on the inside that's just large enough for a copy of my passport and some emergency cash. I wear as I travel and then squirrel it away in my suitcase or hotel room when I'm not wearing it. The beauty of this belt is that it doesn't look like a security belt, so it doesn't draw the attention of ne'er-do-wells. And since I only use it for emergency cash and a copy of my passport, I'm not into it all the time. Wonderful! I get peace of mind and an attractive fashion accessory.

3. My sarong - I was given my first sarong by my cousin, Rica. She had just returned from an international jaunt herself, most of which was in Ghana working for the Peace Corps. I was heading out on a completely different trip, to Greece to see ancient historical sites and archaeological ruins (it was that trip that really got me interested in ancient history!). As she gave me the sarong, she told me hers had been the most valuable travel piece she'd ever owned. That wasn't an understatement. My sarong has been a towel, a beach blanket, a skirt, a head scarf, a dress, a pillow, and a blanket. It does everything! And its so light that it dries quickly and packs down into nothing. Mine is blue, so if I do have to wear it as a skirt, I actually like the way it looks. I wouldn't head out on any trip without packing my sarong.

4. My light scarf - I got this scarf in the Gatwick airport after I had missed a flight to Amsterdam and was waiting for the next one. It was freezing in that airport and I was going to have to sit in it for at least 6 hours. I thought a scarf might help a little, so I shelled out some dough (actually kind of a lot of dough) for this one. I had no idea a scarf could make such a difference! I had been uncomfortably cold before, but once I put my scarf on, I was able to get out my kindle and read, warm and toasty, until my flight boarded. Its really great for warm weather trips too. You can use it as a head scarf (its actually much better suited for this than the sarong) or a sun shade. Its pretty much a smaller version of my sarong and just as versatile.

5. My Kindle - yeah, yeah, I like real books too. But its just not practical to lug around all five of George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire books. Or the Complete Works of Polybius. Or all seven Chronicles of Narnia (those might not be so bad). Or the new Michael Pollan book on food. Or Patrick Rothfuss's New Infuriating Novel (Confused? see this! And this!!) UNLESS THEY'RE ON A KINDLE. I suppose any e-reader would work, but I prefer my Kindle for a couple of reasons. I can buy books internationally (an option that I discovered mid-trip was not available through Barnes&Noble's Nook), I can store up to 3000 books, and my Kindle weighs 8 oz. Its light and its stores a ton! I opted for the 3G model, which gives you access to Amazon's store pretty much anywhere there's cell service, a feature which came in very handy in rural Greece. Kindle's electronic paper is really nice too, since it doesn't tire out your eyes the same way an LED screen will. I still prefer paper books, but when I'm travelling, my Kindle is a must.

6. My Smartphone - When you're travelling, you really should switch stuff off and enjoy what's around you. But my smartphone has been invaluable to me and to the peace of mind of my mothers (my sister is really a second mother in some respects). If I'm travelling internationally, I don't use it as a phone since its prohibitively expensive, but since its so smart, it does lots and lots of other things for me. Its my international clock, so I can keep track of what time it is back home and where I am. Its my alarm clock. If there's wi-fi (and there was wi-fi most places in Greece and Asia), its my internet connection so I can send a quick email to Mom and Dad (and Mom #2) or figure out where I am on Google Maps. I can play games on it if I'm bored (though usually I just read one of my 3000 books stored on my amazing Kindle). If I ever remember to take pictures (and I almost never do), I can take them with my phone. Its really been invaluable everywhere I've gone.

Of course, its always a good idea to pack things like pants and underwear and maybe a toothbrush too.

*Most of this is really great for international travel, but works for the overly paranoid likes-to-be-comfortable domestic traveler as well.

9 Things I Love About Tucson and 4 Things I Hate.

9 Things I Love About Tucson:

1.  That I know everyone. And so will you, if you live here long enough.  I moved to Tucson in 2005 and the only people I knew here were family members. But over the years, through various ways, my social network has grown so much that its rare to not run into people I know at Tucson events.  In fact, my dear friend Sara (read her blog, its awesome!!!) and I sometimes take bets on which one of us will see more people that we know when we go out.  No matter who wins, its common for us to each be into double digits by the end of the night. That's awesome.

2.  BK Grill.  I know everyone loves El Guero Canelo. I do too, to a certain extent. Its the original sonoran dog, after all. The street tacos are delicious. But it lacks ambience. BK has the ambience of a true cantina in Mexico. The tvs blare pop music videos from artists from both sides of the border.  You can't help but be mesmerized. And the carne asada tacos are to die for. They are better (yes, BETTER) than Guero. The meat is cooked over mesquite, so its super flavorful. The ratio of unchewables is low. The tortillas are practically transparent. And they have a guacuamole with goat cheese and pico de gallo that is killer.  El Guero is good. BK is better.

3.  October/March evenings.  They're just so gorgeous! The days in both months border on hot (avg temps are in the high 80s and sometimes low 90s), but in the evenings, the heat melts away into the 60s and 70s. Its perfect for being outside and everyone knows it. Restaurants with patios are full, porches are occupied, folks take strolls through their neighborhoods just to enjoy the beautiful evenings.

4. My family. I know a lot of people don't get along with their families, or see hanging out with them as a chore. But their grandmas probably don't kick ass at Nintendo or watch Family Guy. Their grandpas probably aren't kick-ass native Tucsonans with enough stories about this town to make the past come back for an evening.  And their aunts, uncles and cousins probably aren't some of the funniest, feistiest folks around.  Even if they weren't all of those things (they are!) they love me and I love them. When I first moved to Tucson, my awesome fam did everything they could to welcome me. Now that I'm established, we don't see each other as much, but its always really comforting to know they're there.

5. The Summit Hut. In 2002, I bought my first pair of Chacos. I didn't really care where they came from, but that spring break, Mom decided she'd get some for me (thanks Mom!). The only place in town to carry such treasured shoes? The Summit Hut. I left happy, with a pair of Z/1s in Cardiac. Three years later, when I moved to Tucson, I saw that they were hiring. I applied, got the job, and have been working there ever since. The Hut is great for a couple of reasons. As a customer, it was awesome because the lady that helped me with my shoes really knew what she was doing. As an employee, The Hut has played a much more important role in my life. It was and continues to be the cornerstone of my social life here. I've met some of my best friends working there, friends who I'm determined will be friends long after we all quit.  In short, there's good stuff at the Summit Hut, but more importantly, good people.

6. The UofA. I left NAU in 2005, dejected at not getting into graduate school, but determined to make myself into the best damn student I could. I spent three years shoring up my language skills and in the fall of 2008, I started my MA.  There's a certain rapport you develop with people in graduate school that comes from the shared stress of exams, the dullness of yet another article to read, and the constant need to make yourself and what you're doing count. My little cohort struggled through a particularly poisonous bit of department politics and intra-departmental drama, too. But we came out on the other side as close friends and colleagues. While I know now I don't want to be a college professor, I managed to gather a tribe of amazing people around myself in the process of figuring that out. And without the UofA, I never would have.

7. Monsoons. MONSOONS! What compares to the sudden deluge of summer rain and the smells it releases on a hot August day? Nothing! The creosote! The pavement! The flooded streets and the 10 degree drop in the temperature! The rush of fear when you realize you've foolishly left your windows cracked! When I would visit my grandparents during summer break as a kid, I would watch the rain from Grandma's front window and the traffic circle in front of her house would fill with water every day at 2pm. You could practically set your watch by it.  Today, the monsoons seem more fickle and whatever the reason, are sweeter when they do come. 

8. The mountains. Mountains are everywhere here. The Catalinas loom to the north; in the evening, they turn orange and purple. In the spring sun they turn a vivid green. And in the winter, the tips are frosted with white. I love when the clouds are low enough to hide them. To the east are the Rincons, which always feel more desolate to me, even though they're in a national park. The Santa Ritas are to the south and always make me think of my sister, who loves birding there. Whenever I look at them, the mountains make me feel good.

9. Campbell Avenue. Is there a more Tucson street than Campbell??  The entrance to the UofA is on Campbell, as is the entrance to UMC. Heading north, some of the best Tucson businesses call Campbell home, including (but not limited to) Plaza Liquor, Yoshimatsu, India Oven, Beyond Bread, and Bookman's (close enough). South of UofA, on the corner of 6th and Campbell is the best gelateria outside of Italy (and better than many inside of Italy, actually), Allegro. Tucson Village Farm is on Campbell Ave, as is the UofA farm extension, where I like to look at the horses. North of River Road, Campbell becomes a Mario Kart experience, all the way up to La Encantada, where the Apple store and Anthropologie reside. Campbell Avenue is my favorite Tuscon street.

4 Things I Hate About Tucson

1. Traffic. Ugh. Tucson traffic is awful. I'm sure its not New York City awful or even close to LA awful, but its its own brand of awful. Unlike Phoenix, Tucson has eschewed major freeways, a decision I'm mostly glad of. But as I'm speeding away on Golf Links Road and have to stop at every red light, I really wish there was freeway somewhere. There are a couple (Aviation Highway, I-10), but nothing to get you across town quickly.  On top of that (and there's no nice way to say this), Tucson drivers tend to be asshole drivers.  Blinkers are completely optional, aggressive lane changes are to be expected, and taking advantage of the following left-turn arrow by turning after the light has turned yellow (and even red!) is common. I think its because everybody is pissed that it takes an hour to get across town from 3-5pm.

2. Allergies. I love the natural beauty Tucson has to offer. But twice a year, in the spring and in the late summer following monsoons, Tucson's natural beauty breaks my heart. Or, really, it breaks my head.  My eyes itch. My nose runs. I almost-sneeze at least twenty times a day and actually sneeze at least fifteen times. My head hurts, I look like a raccoon and I can't breathe. It sucks. Tucson used to be a paradise of clean air. People used to move here for relief from lung diseases like TB. Now, even the hardiest of immune systems is besieged by imported pollens and dust. Its awful.

3. The cat-eating coyote population. They're everywhere. I once saw a coyote walking down my street, just after I had let my cat out for the day. I worried all morning. It would be one thing if I lived out east in the desert or in the foothills up north. But I live smack dab in the middle of town. So do the coyotes. Every time I let my cats out, a little part of me wonders (morbidly, I admit that) if that's the last time I'll see them.  I love coyotes and I get that they were here first. But I really hope they don't eat my cats. (For those of you who think I should just keep my cats in...have you ever tried to keep a cat inside once its tasted freedom? It just ain't gonna happen.)

4. Undergrads from California. Who think Tucson consists of 4th Ave, downtown, and the UofA campus and its environs. Who are self-entitle and lazy. Who drive sports cars like the assholes mentioned above. Who tan topless on their sorority house roofs, surrounded by taller buildings. Who can't write for shit and don't care. Who major in Communications or Psychology so they don't have to take a foreign language or math. Who suck, essentially. (I know this is a stereotype. I have met these stereotypical undergrads. Maybe they're really good people....but I have my doubts.)